Your Ex Boyfriend – How To Become The Focus Of His Life Again and Make Him Come Crawling

The man you thought would be part of your future has just told you that he needs some time to himself and you don’t know what to do. No matter how many times you text, email or call him, he keeps ignoring you and all you can think of is the love you have lost. It’s easy to only think of your feelings and not consider his at a time like this.

However, your ex boyfriend has memories too, but if you keep harassing him all he will be able to think of is the bad part of your relationship and forget the good times. To become the center of his life again, you have to make him sorry he broke up with you and you can only do that by making him think of what he has lost.

The problem is that your ex boyfriend cannot feel the loss of you and your love if you are constantly telling him you love him and can’t live without him. A man can’t miss something that he already has. Therefore doesn’t it make sense that if you take yourself out of his life and give him time to think the man you love will start having the same feeling of loss that you are feeling.

The main reason you are feeling frustrated is because your ex boyfriend keeps ignoring you. That should tell you that the way to get his attention is to ignore him. Something you may not know is that being ignored by an ex girlfriend is unacceptable to a man. It is a big blow to his ego and pride and makes him the laughing stock of his buddies.

It won’t be easy for you to just walk away and stop having contact with your ex, but it is the surest way of making him desire you again. Men think much differently than women and if they think they can’t have something it becomes a challenge. That’s why he chased you in the beginning. You seemed unattainable and he had to prove that he could get you.

You must also make your actions sincere because if your ex boyfriend thinks you are playing some sort of trick, he will be apt to start dating other women just to show you he can get by without you. Make your man feel that you are making a life without him.

Find a hobby or do volunteer work and in time getting your ex back will become less of an obsession to you. However your actions will start bringing back the good parts of your relationship to your man and as he realizes how empty his life is without you. Soon you will become the focus of his life again and the man you love will come crawling back.

Once you get your ex back, never let him take you for granted again. Staying just a little out of his reach and making him always want more is the best male psychology for keeping your man.

9 Responses to “Your Ex Boyfriend – How To Become The Focus Of His Life Again and Make Him Come Crawling”

  • Keaton:

    okay me and my gf 3 days ago broke up.. she left me for her ex bf… and i want her back i miss and truly love her what do i do i want her back im crying because i was in paradise and not im back in hell without her she was trhe light in my dark and i cant seem to get over her is there a chance we will get back together i no there are other girls out there but i want only her :( wat do i do :( !! plz i need some advice help im bout like redy to kill my self becuz i hate feeling so hurt she was my first gf my first viginity lost wat do i do… how do i win her back and make her see that she will regret given up on me?

  • Jon P:

    So i’ve liked this guy for many years now (we’ve known each other since we were little, our families know each other, and have always been kind of flirty) and just last summer we started to have a “thing” and then started dating. We dated all year, for about 10 months and then 2 months ago he dumped me. It was completely out of the blue.. I didn’t see it coming at all. I thought we were perfect together and happy. …This is also a long distance relationship, since he goes to school on the east coast, and me on the west coast. He’s 21 and i’m 19.

    He said he needed to focus on his school and career, the distance was hard and he didn’t think he loved me anymore. I was completely heartbroken, since I was completely in love with this guy, and he was my first boyfriend, my best friend, my first love, my first everything….. and I thought things were great. He was completely in love with me too, up until all of this….

    Anyways, now he won’t make any effort to talk to me, and I’ve been good about giving him his space. We met up when he was in town a few weeks ago and had coffee and talked. It was really awkward and he was really guarded and distant, but we caught up and chatted and ended up talking about the break up and he said his feelings had changed and he didn’t even want to try to work things out… but then he walked me to my car and gave me three long hugs when we were saying goodbye. He agreed to see me in August when he’s here again, but now he won’t even talk to me. I’ve tried to talking to him once on facebook chat, but other than that, he won’t make any effort to talk to me at all….

    I’ve heard from mutual friends that he feels awful and feels bad about the break up, and that he misses me… but he won’t tell me any of this, and won’t make an effort to at least be friends and talk to me. I just wish he would want to work things out and give it a second chance, because I think I’m always going to have feelings for him and will never understand how things can be so great and you can be so in love with someone and then all of a sudden you’re not and you don’t even want to try to work things out. I don’t know what to do. I’m still in love with this guy, and still love him, and still want to at least be friends… what do you think this guy is thinking and what should I do? At this point, I am fine with letting it go and just being friends eventually, but if he does come back I want to try to work things out. What do you think?

    ps, no harsh answers please, i’ve gone through enough pain. And he said there’s no other girl or anything, which I believe because he had just moved and didn’t know anybody where he was.
    16 hours ago – 3 days left to answer.

  • mrankinmatt:

    I was with my boyfriend of 6 years, when we broke up last year due to his family issues and him saying “I need to focus on myself right now.” I tried to give him his space, but I ended up pushing him away. I couldn’t grasp the fact that he would want to push away the person who loves him the most in hard times. I’ve done everything for this guy…his parents do nothing. I’ve supported him financially and emotionally and basically been a mom as well as a girlfriend and friend.

    He can both the greatest and worst boyfriend and I’ve found myself in a crazy cycle. He’s lied to me before, laid his hands on me, yelled at me, called me names, cheated etc. No matter how furious I get or look at how much more I deserve, I still have this soft spot for this guy. I am actually going somewhere in my life, I go to Emerson College in Boston and have parents who love and support me. He has been my only boyfriend and I have this childhood attachment to him that I need to find out how to get rid of! I’ve seen a professional and they’ve told me only time will tell.

    I’ve found that the thing that gets me down the most is the fact that he should be begging to be with me. However, he finds these girls, who are nice, to take care of him and support him. He always comes crawling back to me telling me how they don’t compare, but are convenient for his life right now and how I am not and how I need to be patient. Then he comes off saying how happy he is and how he treats this new girl so much better than me. Those words are like daggers in my stomach. Is he really capable of treating another girl better than me, when I did nothing to deserve the emotional abuse he put me through? Whenever those thoughts pop into my head, I get sad and wonder why I’m not good enough, even though I know I am a billion times better.

    I guess I hate the fact that someone else is doing what I used to do. I feel like this guy doesn’t deserve that, but he keeps getting these really nice girls who are going somewhere in life to help him out. Then I wonder if he really loves her more than me and if he will ever do these things to her? I feel like I’m going crazy and I hate it. I know I need to move on, and I try, but it’s everytime I hear something or he pops into my life again that that soft feeling comes back and I am stuck back at square one.

    For some twisted reason, which I am trying to figure out, I put all of that negativity aside. He has been my everything for most of my life and I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that he’s changed. It’s so twisted, but I want him in my life, but not like this. I want him to regret everything and realize he lost the best thing that ever happened to him. I’ve always been that special person to him. He says no one will ever compare to me or be better than me, so then why does he settle for something less!??! I don’t get it!!!!
    Thank you, like I said in my post, I know what needs to be done, but when he comes back and realizes that he needs me, I crumble and it’s a lot easier said than done. I guess my question really is: Why does he show that he cares and says how important I am, but isn’t with me?

  • Echo:

    So i half dated this guyin late may/all of june. He was realy sweet to me, he cared about me, was so nice, and kissed me and all that. On about june 22 i went on a cruise for 5 days, and when i came back he liked a new girl and totally left me in the dust. I was so devostated. The new girl is this girl i kind of know from school and of course she is way prettier and everything. I’m completley heartbroken, jealous, and confused. Recently ihave been getting depressed over it. Cut once. My friends advise me to like someone else but “that face of an angel comes out just when he needs it to” so i always come crawling back. I look like the girl who cares too much. He was my best friend and i lost that and my love. We are friends again and hang out but nothing is the same. He left all too quick. Please leave advice for me in the comments. P.S. i’m in 8th grade, and its my first heartbreak.

  • Ryan Z:

    My boyfriend is almost thirty years old. But it is shocking how much he is influenced by his mother. He has told me before that he has a very hard time with decision-making, and so he usually just listens to what she has to say. I understand why they are so close, to some degree. The father was abusive, and he, his mom, and little sister escaped that situation together. The latter three are extremely close now. His mom and little sister have always been very judgmental of me and it was almost like they decided to not like me, before they had even met me.

    About a week ago, we had a pretty big argument, but by far not the worst we’ve had. We both had plans that night, so we didn’t have a lot of time to even sort ourselves out, but he left the situation very positive. Saying “I love you,” and “we’ll work on this.” Then he made plans to come over to my house the following morning to talk some more. He was very VERY focused on wanting to sort out our problems.

    The very next morning, instead of coming over, he sends me a very brief email telling me we’re over, and he loves me, but never to contact him again. He tells the entire story of our argument from his point of view, but twists and exaggerates it so drastically, even claiming I “laugh maniacally” at one point. I assure you, I was distraught, but never maniacal. After this email, I was incredibly devastated. I also know his mom was flying in from LA to spend Christmas with him so it would be hard to try to contact him till at least next year. I tried to call him a bunch of times before his mom arrived, but of course, no answer. I didn’t understand at all why this was happening.

    That same day, he went to see my dad. He told my dad the same twisted story. He said he had spoken with his mother and he had to break up with me. My dad noted that he was shaking, and wouldn’t stop crying and saying he loves me. When my dad told him “It seems to me you’re struggling with a decision of the heart vs. the head” he said things like “No! Stop trying to change my mind.” He told my dad he couldn’t say it to me in person cause I wouldn’t accept it, but I have a feeling that’s not the real reason. It’s most likely because his break up plan would crumble if he saw me.

    He has “cut me off” by email plenty of times (for various different reasons – like being jealous, etc.), and then has come running back. He has been with his family since Christmas eve, and so I know they are definitely preventing him from doing that. I have called him a number of times, and he has finally blocked my number.

    I have thought of catching him on his way to work, but I am scared that maybe he could do something like call the cops? I am certain that if I had two minutes with him, to tell him to calm down and talk him through it, things would be okay.

    Does anyone else have any insights? Advice? I know that this man truly loves me, he is just confused. We never had plans to marry or anything like that, but we recognized that we our relationship would be the “big” relationship of our lives. Anyone?

  • Gamer959:

    About two years ago, I had a horrible breakup. It involved cheating at the most extreme level, for the entire course of our relationship, and even ended in a sexually transmitted disease. Going into the full extent of it would be a burden on your time. Before I dated this man, I had a string of relationships that usually ended in the same way. After a length of time, I would become annoyed with my partner. I would pick fights with them, etc. When I was with my (cheating) ex, I never felt this way. I lingered on his every word. I was proud to be by his side. He was my everything. There was no coming back from our breakup. Time passed, I remained single for a long time. I have recently attempted to get back into dating. This has been hugely unsuccessful. The first man I attempted to date only lasted a matter of weeks before the annoying, nagging, sensless anger began towards him. Anything and everything he said and did suddenly enraged me. And now I am trying to date someone else. I am trying to exude patience, to be sweet and considerate. We are both artists, he is very successful at what he does and, on top of being a very kind and generous person, he is capable of helping me tremendously with my professional life. He treats me like a lady, and we push each other to higher levels with our work. But, as anticipated, I suddenly am annoyed by everything he does. I feel embarrassed around him, I am hyper sensitive to any annoying habit he might have. His touch suddenly makes my skin crawl. This problem of mine is not getting better, it is getting worse. I have kept my feelings mostly under wraps with my current boyfriend, because logically, I know I should be happy. But I can’t. Please help me. I don’t know if I can ever be happy in a relationship, I feel like I am purposely tearing my life apart and it is out of my control.

  • Alina Elliott:

    My ex-boyfriend is going through depression….?
    My ex-boyfriend and I broke up four months ago over misunderstandings. Recently I started dating someone else, who is incredibly amazing and falls right under “great boyfriend” material. My ex boyfriend just recently contacted me, he is going through depression and has suicidal thoughts. He reached out for me, for help. However, I am very confused and don’t know whether to be there as an unconditional friend, which I want to. But I also don’t want this to affect my current relationship specially since I know I still have feelings for my ex. It is very confusing… please advise.

  • thinkthought:

    My ex boyfriend has been sending me really weird texts and I’m not sure how to respond to them! They’re not about him they’re about my relationship right now. I don’t know how to respond…Like one said ” What would you do if I asked you back out? Would you dump ur bf for me or would you let me down and say no?” They are very hard to answer because we are still friends but just not a couple! I dont’t know what to do?

  • Peter:

    I have a boyfriend for 10 years. We live together with no kids. I met my boyfriend after my ex boyfriend. I was with my ex boyfriend for 6 years we broke up because he got a girl pregnant that was the end of our relationship. I’ve been having these dreams off & on for 2 years now. I don’t know what it means. The dreams was always about him & I getting back with each other. I’ll see him sometimes in those times I’ve been wanted to talk to him but don’t know what to say. Please Help!!!
    After the dreams I feel like I miss him. My current relationship we starting to lack spending time with each other.

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